American Ultra (0 Stars)

Before writing this ‘film review’…my film rating stopped at 1…this ‘film’, I put it is quotation marks because I don’t even think you can all it a film; so ‘film’ will have to suffice.  inspired me to add a brand new category. There are few films I have ever considered walking out on…and in fact only two films I’ve ever walked out on. This would have been the third time…only I had to be somewhere later and didn’t fancy trailing round shops whilst I waited. So I stuck it out, the best bit about this movie was when it ended. I felt relief when realised I could leave.

Mike Howell (Jesse Eisenberg) is a stoner loser…works in a supermarket has a stoner girlfriend Phoebe Larson (Kristen Stewart). Turns out he’s actually some CIA secret agent who couldn’t handle the programme so they wiped his memory and gave him phobias preventing him from leaving the town. Then another branch of the CIA comes in to shut the programme down and kill Mike. Sounds alright doesn’t it? It’s really not. Just go watch the Bourne Identity – the acting, the storyline, the music, everything is much better in the Bourne films than it was here.

I’m actually surprised I have managed to write 200 words about this film, because it’s not even worth that. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!